Why I (now) hate holidays

Ok first off not aimed at anyone on here.  Second, Smigin ya know I luv ya & even know ya RL so SsOo not aimed at you!  I now Hate the Holidays!!  I blame this completely on my husband & fatherinlaw!  My husband LUVED LUVED halloween (being Pagan & all).  I did NOTHING for it this yr besides getting the girls costumes & helping them get ready.  NOTHING!  I have Hundreds of decorations for Halloween & didnt use a fucking one!!!  Even got new stuff & it sat in the damn bags!  Thanksgiving was fine but Really tense.  Now Christmas is coming & again!  I have Done Nothing!  My husbands bday was Christmas.  Last yr I was in shock.  Numb.  Just trying to get through one day at the time but what that left me with was this yr.  Now.  Now I am feeling everything.  Now I hate everyone who I mention this to & they say, “Oh you will be fine you were last yr”. 

My husband Luved old world Santa’s.  I got him a new one every yr.  This yr my mother in law got one in memory of him & I got so Pissed!!!!  Which I Know is stupid, silly & childish but it was mine & his thing!  I always did this for him!  She never got one for him before this!  Me & the girls always had a special shoppiing trip just to get this for him!  I feel like she stompped all over that!  Yes silly, childish, stupid & selfish!  But Damnit! 

So I am struggling through this one day at the time hoping I at least get the damn tree up before Christmas! 

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